The year 2019 has begun on a rough patch. I have hit a huge personal roadblock that will require all my physical, emotional and spiritual strength to deal with. No matter how desperately I may yearn for a simple, stress-free life, challenges never fail to show up.
Amidst all this business of living, I have pondered (more than often) about life. What is life? Why do we live when we have to die? Why can’t we be immortal in the bodily sense that a non-enlightened being is aware of? What is it that we aspire in life? Who decides how to live life? Why do we waste so much time in educating ourselves when the learning has to go away one day? A doctor, a scientist, an engineer, a cook, or any professional slogs day in and day out honing his talent and knowledge but what for? When the life will end, this knowledge will die too, except for the impressions taken with the soul. So, is all the slogging worth it? Why don’t we teach yoga, meditation and soul-searching in schools and colleges when that is what matters the most in life than learning about trigonometry and botany. I don’t remember the last time I used any theorem in my life but I have definitely missed not knowing how to control my breath in times of desperation and how not to feel hurt when someone misbehaves with me .
These questions may seem laughable to most of you but for me, they were an inherent part of my growing up years. I was bombarded and burdened with such weird questions and thoughts. I had infinite questions and no answers. As I added years, I started to loosen up. I learnt to be frivolous than being serious all the time.
Endless self-help books, spiritual readings and practical experiences taught me a lot about life but never satisfied the itch completely. What added to the agony was my sweet little dream world that I had created in my head. It ran parallel to my practical life. I expected everyone to adhere to my dream world ethics. A lot of my years went waste in dreaming of a nearly perfect life. It was quite later that my practical aspect surpassed matched my make-believe dreamy avatar.
It is not to say that life was dull and drab with no fun and romance. My life has been a beautiful one fortified by the love and protection of my parents and many meaningful relationships. But like any ordinary life, there have been ups and downs and a lot of self-learning.
Several questions still remain unanswered. The itch has not gone yet. It’s a long journey before I come face-to-face with my soul, to silence the mind and fill the heart with love, gratitude, faith and surrender.
Till then, I am walking, one step at a time. Do I have any other choice?
What happened?
Dont worry, all under control now.
Hello D,
Very glad to see that you finally moved ahead of just wordpress and happy to see your own secure page. I have been very occupied so could not comment before.
Read this one about the roadblock, hope you are fine and able to draw strength to cope up. If it reassures, – you will feel a lot stronger, once you have overcome the setback. Believe me – I have personally felt both stronger and weaker (after not overcoming, and letting it drag). But I am sure you will do better.
About the ‘itch’ – I have had a similar thing for way too many years, and started to feel better only a couple of months ago, after my spiritual path and practices got more focused and better aligned to my material life (Sadhguru’s grace).
Wanted to get in touch before but I have lost your last number, and you are not on FB messenger either. Tc.
Best,
V
Hi V,
Once again, thank you for your kind and inspiring comment. Yes, i am coping well, thanks to the wishes of friends like you.
About the itch, it can be very hard when you are in the middle, neither ignorant nor enlightened. I mite be in that phase right now. But very glad that you are starting to find your path and focus.
It was reassuring to read your comment. Thanks again, and wish you a happy spiritual journey. 🙂