My Soulitude


(Image from the internet)


Life! My obsession for this word and subject still remains that—-an obsession. Ever since I started journaling, a fancy term used these days for what I simply knew as diary-writing in my youth, the life, as a word, has been a constant. My every new diary and every new page post in my diary started with this word—Life! So much so that it became a joke on me after a while. I have no qualms in admitting life still remains my obsession. Nothing beats life. Be it the smooth flow of a river or the impediments in the form of stones, all bleak out in front of life.


Writing my pages in this effervescent journey of life, I noticed I have been laying bare my feelings in words, raw and unedited. Pushing the perfect copy far ahead in future. Thinking, some day I will write something that will make sense. To readers that is. Harbouring a secret wish inside that some day, the world will read what I write. The prospect of writing a best-seller. Every time I begin writing on a blank page, I pour the raw words and emotions, thinking I will polish them later to make them shine. But that day has never come. Till date, my diary and blog is simply that—-a trashcan of words. Written in the same haphazard way in which life happens. Raw, unedited, ignored, mundane. The time to polish never arrived, for by then, new raw words were ready to be typed again. So, every time I open my diary, I read the unedited version of my life. A journey fraught with all things good and ugly, both in their extremes. That is what diary writing serves, a chance to meet your true self. A self that can be frightening, strange, pure and pious. A self that may get lost in setting a shining example for the world to witness.


Glady, I am doing fine with my book of raw words. Mostly because I have made peace with the rawness. I am not too keen to edit these words. I have always preferred rawness over perfection. Life has been beautiful and ugly. But when I close my eyes, the dominant feeling that stays is of a wonderful life. The ugliness arises only when I start analysing. Recalling the thorns in my journey that left a scar. I very consciously try to not let them leave a mark on my soul. It is a tedious task but very important in keeping a clean soul. Sometimes I succeed, sometimes not. But it is the grace of God that love rules my life more than the hate. I love to be in love with life. May the obsession continues…


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