Woke up to a very heavy, depressing, unbelievable and indigestible piece of news. Every other day, her pictures were seen in newspapers and websites, attending awards show, parties and wedding. Today, suddenly, she is gone. May God give her family the strength to cope with the loss, especially her daughters. My heart goes out to them, who are in such a young phase of their lives. Standing at the threshold of beginning careers and new lives, they are the ones who need all the love and support. The loss of a mother is irreplaceable.
Needless to say, she was in a league of her own. Simply loved her in ‘English Vinglish’. Watched the movie quite a number of times.
‘Chandni’ is my all-time favourite. Have lost count of the number of dance performances I (and cousins) gave on this hit number, “Mere haato main…”, be it a wedding or b’day party.
The day has been so difficult to deal with since. The next few days are going to be tougher. Lots of Why’s and How’s. So many inconsequential questions cluttering the heart and the mind. A kind of news that suddenly makes you lose interest in everything around. Dealing with the loss of a great artist, the shaking of the very platform of existence, and the long list of existential questions…
Won’t say there are no answers. They (the answers) are scattered around too, waiting to be discovered. The problem is, I am not seeking. The truth stares at me every other day, still I choose to put it on hold or dismiss and walk the other way. It (The truth) returns, I again choose to dismiss, and the vicious circle continues.
What more do I need to wake me up from this deep slumber. The death is evident, yet seems surreal. Who so ever is born has to go. Yet, when any death happens, the struggle begins, like Jagjit Singh passes away.
Time to sit straight and seek answers. A ripe time to begin the inward journey, before the truth reveals itself again. Will the inner awakening begin? Only time will tell. As of now, I am simply cherishing every breath I take today, consciously. And firming my resolve to make good use of my time on this earth. Just like she did. In 54 years, she achieved a lot and made her existence worthy of being born.
The other day, I was watching this video and inculcated some pieces of the wisdom shared.
Please check this out and see if it resonates with you.
(This is an unedited post, an outpouring of my emotions, written in one go. Please ignore the shortcomings).