While there are days (like this) when I walk in a loop around my house looking after it, there are days (like today) when my home takes care of me. The tables turn. Today, my home is the care-giver. I had merely put things in order yesterday, today this home puts me in order. What an act of selfless love.
It gives me a secure place to lay bare my ‘self’, my emotions, thoughts, insecurities, fears, happiness & sorrows. It shelters and comforts me from the vagaries of life. It cocoons me from the outside world. It nurtures me back to life. It gives more than it receives. Life always does so. Always. I should learn from it. To always give back more than I receive.
Today, this home allows me to do nothing. Nothing at all. I become a fossil. I revel in my being. I enjoy my solitude. I shut myself down for the world and open it for my ‘self.’ I cuddle up in a quilt and read, write, watch Netflix or stare into oblivion. I choose to slow down.
I am full of gratitude for this home and life that allows me to do so. I bow to the privilege life has chosen to give me (for now). For a life set-up that allows the ‘me’ to flourish. The bounties of work-from-home arrangement, staying up late, sleeping till late, the option to put aside domestic responsibilities whenever I wish, the luxury to order food online, the abundance of ‘me-time’, the choice to live my day the way I want and to have a husband who understands these needs. It’s a huge honour life can bestow. It wasn’t there always, it won’t be there always. It’s just in the now. And now is all we have.
Today as the world moves at its pace, I choose to step aside and watch it moving. I observer the hustle and bustle of this transient life. I smile at myself, the worth of my self, and the futility of it, both at the same time. ‘I’ hardly make a difference and yet ‘I’ make a huge difference. I laugh at the paradox. Today, I choose to slow down. Oh, what a grace it is. To simply be, in my home and life.